Daniel Childs

How can one song say so much??

I don’t have many ways of expressing myself in life.  Never have.  There are only so many people who will hear you out face to face about your problems and not judge you.  So, what are my options?  I have two.  This blog, and music.

Music is something that I have related to since high school.  Somewhere along the way, in my late teens, I realized that songwriters like Matt Scannell of Vertical Horizon were writing my very emotions in their songs.  And I realized that artists like Jeff Deyo could express my feelings for God in their Worship songs.  And it became clear to me that music is a powerful way of expressing your feelings, so my feelings started coming out in the songs I write, both Christian and secular.

Not only do I pore my emotions into the songs I write, but I often find my emotions in songs written by other people, like “Bridge Over Troubled Water” by Simon and Garfunkle.  My version can be heard in the video above, which is mostly reminiscent of Elvis Presley’s version, mixed with my own singing and piano playing style, at a very vulnerable time of night.

Every songwriter knows that people may take many different meanings from their songs.  And I’m not completely sure what the writers of this song were trying to express in its conception, but this is what it means to me…

It seems to be almost every human being’s desire to find mutual love with a significant other human being of the opposite sex.  At least, I know that it’s a major desire of mine.  I even had a girlfriend for a few years… but strangely enough, after three years of love and commitment, she drifted from me and broke up with me in a text message like a cowardess.

I hold nothing against her, though.  That is the thing.  That is what “Bridge Over Troubled Water” is about to me.  It is about denying yourself, and serving other people no matter what… no matter what they have done to you, no matter how bad they have hurt you… I feel we as Christians and as human beings are called to deny ourselves and forgive others… and for me, that also means being available to help them through anything.

Since the time that she broke up with me, which was almost three years ago, my luck with women has been extremely poor.  I’ve been on dates with several.  Had a couple one-week relationships.  Gotten my hopes up many times only to have my feelings destroyed.  And though I’ve been in a constant pursuit of love, unafraid to tell a female how I feel about her… my luck is always turned in-side-out.  The one I fall for never feels the same.  And the one who does feel the same either turns out to already be taken, or turns out to be someone I’m not compatible with.

It’s quite sad.  I’ll often get my hopes up that it will work out with a certain girl, and then I’ll get let down.  It’s a seemingly never-ending occurrence.   This summer, I drove eight hours to spend three days with someone I thought it would work out with.  It didn’t.  Last month, I flew a thousand miles to see someone I was sure it would work out with.  And she turned out to be the opposite of what I thought she was.  I’ve been on a million dates, given a million gifts, and have been completely selfless in my romantic attempts… all for what?  … all for nothing.  My affection is never returned.  My gifts are taken for granted.  And my selflessness is looked at as weakness, and I, therefore, am walked-all-over.

But in spite of all this, I can’t find it in myself to do wrong to any of these girls whom it hasn’t worked out with.  I can’t find it in myself to be as unkind to them as they’ve been to me.  It’s not in my programming to treat a woman wrong.

In fact, I feel inclined to be more than a forgiver to them.  Through my anger and disappointment, I still feel indebted as a servant.  If any person in the world called me at three in the morning and needed my help, I would help them however I could… no matter who they are, no matter how they’ve wronged me, no matter what our history is.  It doesn’t even matter if I like the person or not.  When someone is in need, I believe that spirit of Christ kicks in to make us merciful.  

So like a bridge over troubled water, I will lay me down.  And I’ll do whatever I can do to ease your mind. Though some people are hard to forgive, I will try my very best to forgive them.  Though some people are hard to serve, I’ll do what I can.  And though most girls I’ve met couldn’t care less if I live or die, I will keep holding out hope that maybe I’ll find ONE who really does love me.

That’s what this song means to me.  And if you relate, feel free to share this blog entry or this video.

May God bless you, whoever you are.  Whatever our history is, I refuse to hold a grudge against you.  It may be hard, but I refuse to let anything keep us from being the siblings in Christ we have to be.

And also, very important… if there is any girl out there, of appropriate age who thinks she could be the one for me… please present yourself.  I don’t want to be alone anymore.  Man is not meant to be alone.  It’s a fact of nature.  And I’m 25, not getting any younger, and am ready to devote myself. 

May God bless you.

DC