Welcome to my blog. If you haven’t been here before, I’m glad you stopped by. My name is Daniel Childs. I am a Gospel Music Singer / Social Media Coordinator / Independent Musician living in the Nashville, Tennessee area. In this blog, I generally talk about whatever issue is on my mind, no holds barred!
Tonight I feel like discussing something that I have been thinking about for several years. And that topic is my doubts about the worth of the city I live in, in terms of social and economical opportunities for young, single adults.
I grew up in, and still live in, a southern suburban town just outside of Nashville called Franklin, in Williamson County. It is a charming, and often, enchanting small town that has something to offer to anyone of any walk of life. However, it does carry within it, at times, the “buzz” of being extremely close to a city that is famous for being a launching pad for all popular Country and Christian music. But here’s the catch… most of the people within that city who call themselves “professional” musicians and music industry reps actually have no presence in the real industry of music that the city contains, whatsoever.
I would conjecture that only 10% of Nashville’s “professional” musicians are indeed professionals, who pay their bills by being career music industry personnel. The other 90%, however, are simply aspiring music business professionals. Though very talented, and sometimes phenomenal from a musical standpoint, these aspirers very rarely make a dime from their time invested in Nashville’s extremely scattered music scene, and usually hold a job at a local Starbucks or restaurant until they finally give up and chase another career field, or extremely uncommonly, make it in music.
There is nothing wrong with this. I admire these people for chasing their dreams, and moving here all the way from Austin, Birmingham, St. Louis or Little Rock to dedicate themselves to a passionate pursuit. That is an extremely commendable thing. At least half of these aspiring musicians, though, are actually from the Middle Tennessee area, and grew up around music… so naturally, they fell in love with it and pursued it. There is nothing wrong with that, either.
My complaint with Nashville is not with these musicians, but with the city’s social scene, which in my opinion, is the worst of any major city I have ever been to (excluding Memphis and Huntsville).
Nashville’s social scene can be described as follow. There are several categories that the local clubs and venues may fit into… and to go into them in depth would take all night (though I very easily could do so). There are the Country bars and joints, which are the nightly home of the nieve / wanna-be musicians, and the people who simply want to get hammered… but mostly, the tourists. This is because the tourists don’t know any better than to simply go to Broadway or 2nd Avenue and think they are living it up in the city, when in reality, they couldn’t be further from anything genuine, because they are in the heart of the highest level of pretense in the entire metro Nashville area. 75% of these tourists are females… usually wearing cowboy hats and boots (because they think people dress like that here), and their primary goal, other than to have fun with their girlfriends, is to get the male tourists to buy them drinks… and then never talk to those male tourists again.
I want to stress that I am not insulting nor criticizing these people. This factual theory is simply based on my observations having been a graduated adult in this city for nearly seven years.
Then, you have the actual independent music scene. It’s scattered about town, but full of musicians and aspiring recording artists. Many of them talented, many of them not. Most of them calling themselves professionals, but only a small percentage of them paying their bills by playing music. Though you can find some great talent and showcases in this scene, the social aspect of it is absolutely horrible for a young, single adult who’s simply looking to meet people locally. Why?? - Because most of these musicians do not want to meet you unless you can help their career in some way. They already have their closed, closely-knit circle of friends, and they are not looking to expand that small circle… unless they think you can be an asset in their (often fictional) climb to the top of the music business.
This is what I hate about this city. I am a single, twenty-five year old guy with very few close friends in town, and would love to meet people. But after living in this city, visiting its venues, and experiencing everything it has to offer for seven years (with one five-month break), I have yet to find any sign of life in this city.
First off, the venues aren’t that great. I have gone out at night in cities that attract people my age… cities like Denver, or even better, Los Angeles. They are crawling with young people who are real people, looking to meet other real people and have fun… everywhere, every night. In Nashville, that is simply not the case. When I go out in this town, I only encounter tourists and wannabe musicians. It is extremely difficult to make friends, because there are not necessarily any people out there to make friends with. Meanwhile, I went out in Denver one night, and walked away from downtown having met multiple new friends and having stored their numbers in my phone.
The social scene of Nashville, Tennessee seems to be a nearly non-existent, mythological culture. In some outer areas of town, like Brentwood, you can indeed find more genuine people, but if you’re searching in the bars, you’re still searching in the wrong places… because all I’ve found there are people who want to get drunk or go home with some random person… much like the low-life, hole-in-the-wall places you would find in small towns like Borger, Texas or Valdosta, Georgia.
I guess what I’m trying to say is this. If there is a vibrant, friendly social scene for young single adults in Nashville, I know nothing of it… and would be shocked to find that it exists. In my seven years as an adult in this city, I’ve been to every lame bar, every restaurant, every music venue, every tourist joint. I have worked in every category of every music scene (almost), and I’ve experienced what this place has to offer… only to come to the point of publicly acknowledging that this city is not all it’s made out to be. Sure, it beats Birmingham or Lexington, I guess. But outsiders view Nashville with a sort of romanticism that the city simply does not actually have. I, personally, view Nashville as a great place to live (for some), but a highly pretentious city with a very low level of personal genuality (which spellcheck seems to think isn’t a word).
Where am I going with this? Well, I am not trying to put anyone down. And not putting the city down as a whole, because in every case, there are always exceptions. Nashville, and its surrounding areas (especially Franklin and Brentwood) are great places to live for families, maybe young couples, and middle-aged professionals. But my advice is that if you, like me, are a young adult looking for a more engaging local life, Nashville is simply not the destination right now (unless you desperately want to pursue a career in Christian or Country music).
My conclusive thought is that I finally realize that this simply is not the city for me. This isn’t the place for me at all. I’m just not the kind of guy that fits in here. I spend most of my time locked up at home, because there is frankly hardly anything to do in this city for a guy like me. Even tonight, as I was driving through my home town of Franklin (after an evening of shopping at the Cool Springs Galleria and the Franklin Target), I realized that though I do love this town and the lovely feel of such a nice, quaint place, it’s still not for me. I’m constantly wanting something more to do. Somewhere more to be. And this isn’t cutting it.
So, what’s keeping me here? Family, I suppose. I am very family-oriented and love spending time with my parents and my brother. But I think that in life there comes a time when a man needs to make a leap for his future. And that time is probably going to come for me, before too long.
I really think, long-term, that I’ll end up in Los Angeles. I’ve talked with a lot of people about it. And been there many times. It seems like the only city in this nation that matches my temperament. Though, like Nashville, LA has its thousands of patrons who are simply just trying to climb the ranks of the music, film or fashion industries, there seems to be a more openness about it. It seems that those people build their networks of friends, but keep each other as friends rather than just stepping stones. And there’s something going on 24/7…. and a guy like me needs that at this point in life.
Tonight, I was purchasing some shoes at Guess in CoolSprings. They guy behind the counter asked me my email address. I replied, “singeravailable@gmail.com”. He then said to me, “that’s a very Nashville address”. The thought of that disgusted me, because I don’t want to be equated with the scene here… no offense to those who are. My instant thought was “yes, but even more of a Los Angeles thing”, because in that city, there seems to be a never-ending network being built by friends and coworkers of all lifestyles, races and career fields. That is the kind of community that I want to be a part of.
So when will I take the risk? When will I make the leap? I don’t know. But if I don’t do it soon, I authorize all of you to yell at me and hound me until I do.
For those of you who are lovers of Nashville, I respect that. More power to you, for loving this place! I love things about it, and Tennessee will always be home. I just simply have a different temperment that I think doesn’t fit here at all.
In the end, all of us need to focus on one thing, primarily. Doing the best we can to serve the Lord, Jesus Christ and to spread His Word. And that can be done anywhere on this earth, in my opinion. So, go where the Lord leads. Go where your heart leads. Pursue your dreams. I definitely will pursue mine.
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Over the past ten months, many of you have expressed how much you enjoy the series of short, Youtube-based documentaries I have created entitled “Blackwood Legacy On Tour”. We have released five well-watched episodes, and number six is currently being edited.
Blackwood Legacy On Tour Episode Six will air this week, and will be the final episode in the film series. I feel that I have covered, in these films, almost every aspect of what life on the road with Blackwood Legacy is like, and feel that it is now time to move on to making a different type of film featuring the group.
The Blackwood Legacy On Tour series has documented our travels, with the purpose of giving our friends and fans around the globe a chance to see the inner-workings of our ministry, as well as the various stages our show has been on and gone through. I feel that the films have successfully achieved this, and that it’s now time to entertain you in a different way!
After we release episode six, I will begin draft work on a new series of short films featuring the group. Many exciting changes for us are coming in 2012, and with these changes, I feel it will be more entertaining to document our travels from a different perspective.
The new film series will be called “The Legacy Continues”, and I will probably make six episodes over the next year, just as I have done with the On Tour series. The new film series will be more comedic, and will have a slightly more sitcom vibe mixed in with the reality of our travels.
Be on the lookout for the release of Blackwood Legacy On Tour Episode Six this week! The most recent episode, Episode Five, is posted above. We truly hope you have enjoyed this series, and will join us in excitement about starting another one.
God bless!
Daniel
I am proud to announce that my first solo Gospel ministry tour will take place the first week of this coming April. I will be headed to Texas and beyond for a week of ministering to audiences through my favorite Gospel songs, and through testimony, as well as a time of invitation.
We currently have two concerts booked for the tour. I will be in Irving, Texas on March 31st, and Nocona, Texas on April 1st. I am now trying to book April 2-6 anywhere in the state of Texas, or nearby in surrounding states.
Daniel Childs Ministries needs your help!
If you, my friends and supporters, have any contacts near those areas who may be interested in having me for a ninety-minute evening Gospel concert, please contact me. I need to fill as many dates as possible to make this a successful tour!
I come at no cost to the church. I sing for love offerings and CD sales.
I believe in this solo ministry I have lost, and I believe that you all believe in it as well. I have faith that if I can get out there, God will work.
Please contact me if you know anyone near Texas who may be interested in having me.
danielchildsministries@gmail.com
God bless!
Daniel
Just wanted to post something encouraging tonight. I know most of the things I have posted lately have been a little bit on the negative side. I simply have had a tough and confusing month.
As a Christian entertainer, I’m expected to lift people up, and I strive to do so every night on stage. In Blackwood Legacy, we work hard to be a blessing. But in my off-stage time, I fight the endless battle of longing to express myself in some way that somehow, somewhere out there will hear/read what I said and say “I know exactly how he feels! I’ve been there! Wow, I’m not alone!”.
I guess that’s why I write songs and blog. It’s because there’s stuff on the inside that just absolutely has to come out.
I posted this song because I love the way Bryan Hutson (one of my biggest influences / friend) sings it. But tonight, this song has taken on a new meaning for me; because in the midst of feeling a little bit of panic, thrown in with a dosage of uncertainty and lack of confidence… it’s a powerful realization to suddenly know that what this song talks about will one day be our reality, if we believe in and accept Jesus Christ.
I’ve got as many faults as anyone else on earth. I’m absolutely terrible at managing my financial budget. I’m horrible at attracting females. I wear my heart on my sleeve, so I always get crushed. I have a terrible diet. I rarely apply discipline to my life. And these faults sometimes get me quite worried. But tonight I realized, though it’s important to try to fix these things… in the grand scheme of true reality, is it worth all the worrying?
- No. It’s not. Because one day my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, who has never abandoned me in spite of my faults, in His love and kindness, will rise me up from my grave into peaceful eternity with Him. Why? - Not because of anything I’ve done… I have already failed. It’s because of what He has done. It’s because He loves me. It is because He is good, and mighty to save. I’m finally understanding what that means.
So, as you read these lyrics, be mindful that this will one day be your reality, too, if you love and accept Him. And if you’ve never accepted His gift of salvation, you don’t have to end tonight in that same condition. You simply tell Him that you repent of your sins (asking His forgiveness), that you’re turning to Him, you believe that He shed His blood for you, you believe that God rose him from the grave, you accept Him, and you ask Him to come into your heart, your life, and save you.
I Will Rise Up From My Grave
Written by Jack Toney
When my last day has ended, here on earth
And my body is lowered in the dirt
I’ll have no fear; though death now has me bound
For I will rise up from my grave to meet the Lamb
Father, mother
Sister, brother, I will see
They’ll be coming, for they’ve won the victory
And now at last, sweet peace we’ll have finally found
For we have risen from the grave to meet the Lamb
I will rise up to meet Him in the sky
On that homecoming morning, by and by
When the trumpet of God begins to sound
I will rise up from my grave to meet the Lamb
_____________________________
I hate so much about some of the things I choose to be. I want to start living right and turn everything around. But at the same time, I know that I will never be perfect. So whether I rise or fall… whether I mess up or finally do something right… I have Him to rely on. He never wavers, even though I waver constantly.
God bless,
Daniel
__________________________________________
I recorded this song on my recent solo album, “Blessed Assurance”, which is available at www.danielchilds.com.
How can one song say so much??
I don’t have many ways of expressing myself in life. Never have. There are only so many people who will hear you out face to face about your problems and not judge you. So, what are my options? I have two. This blog, and music.
Music is something that I have related to since high school. Somewhere along the way, in my late teens, I realized that songwriters like Matt Scannell of Vertical Horizon were writing my very emotions in their songs. And I realized that artists like Jeff Deyo could express my feelings for God in their Worship songs. And it became clear to me that music is a powerful way of expressing your feelings, so my feelings started coming out in the songs I write, both Christian and secular.
Not only do I pore my emotions into the songs I write, but I often find my emotions in songs written by other people, like “Bridge Over Troubled Water” by Simon and Garfunkle. My version can be heard in the video above, which is mostly reminiscent of Elvis Presley’s version, mixed with my own singing and piano playing style, at a very vulnerable time of night.
Every songwriter knows that people may take many different meanings from their songs. And I’m not completely sure what the writers of this song were trying to express in its conception, but this is what it means to me…
It seems to be almost every human being’s desire to find mutual love with a significant other human being of the opposite sex. At least, I know that it’s a major desire of mine. I even had a girlfriend for a few years… but strangely enough, after three years of love and commitment, she drifted from me and broke up with me in a text message like a cowardess.
I hold nothing against her, though. That is the thing. That is what “Bridge Over Troubled Water” is about to me. It is about denying yourself, and serving other people no matter what… no matter what they have done to you, no matter how bad they have hurt you… I feel we as Christians and as human beings are called to deny ourselves and forgive others… and for me, that also means being available to help them through anything.
Since the time that she broke up with me, which was almost three years ago, my luck with women has been extremely poor. I’ve been on dates with several. Had a couple one-week relationships. Gotten my hopes up many times only to have my feelings destroyed. And though I’ve been in a constant pursuit of love, unafraid to tell a female how I feel about her… my luck is always turned in-side-out. The one I fall for never feels the same. And the one who does feel the same either turns out to already be taken, or turns out to be someone I’m not compatible with.
It’s quite sad. I’ll often get my hopes up that it will work out with a certain girl, and then I’ll get let down. It’s a seemingly never-ending occurrence. This summer, I drove eight hours to spend three days with someone I thought it would work out with. It didn’t. Last month, I flew a thousand miles to see someone I was sure it would work out with. And she turned out to be the opposite of what I thought she was. I’ve been on a million dates, given a million gifts, and have been completely selfless in my romantic attempts… all for what? … all for nothing. My affection is never returned. My gifts are taken for granted. And my selflessness is looked at as weakness, and I, therefore, am walked-all-over.
But in spite of all this, I can’t find it in myself to do wrong to any of these girls whom it hasn’t worked out with. I can’t find it in myself to be as unkind to them as they’ve been to me. It’s not in my programming to treat a woman wrong.
In fact, I feel inclined to be more than a forgiver to them. Through my anger and disappointment, I still feel indebted as a servant. If any person in the world called me at three in the morning and needed my help, I would help them however I could… no matter who they are, no matter how they’ve wronged me, no matter what our history is. It doesn’t even matter if I like the person or not. When someone is in need, I believe that spirit of Christ kicks in to make us merciful.
So like a bridge over troubled water, I will lay me down. And I’ll do whatever I can do to ease your mind. Though some people are hard to forgive, I will try my very best to forgive them. Though some people are hard to serve, I’ll do what I can. And though most girls I’ve met couldn’t care less if I live or die, I will keep holding out hope that maybe I’ll find ONE who really does love me.
That’s what this song means to me. And if you relate, feel free to share this blog entry or this video.
May God bless you, whoever you are. Whatever our history is, I refuse to hold a grudge against you. It may be hard, but I refuse to let anything keep us from being the siblings in Christ we have to be.
And also, very important… if there is any girl out there, of appropriate age who thinks she could be the one for me… please present yourself. I don’t want to be alone anymore. Man is not meant to be alone. It’s a fact of nature. And I’m 25, not getting any younger, and am ready to devote myself.
May God bless you.
DC
I have something to say but I’m not even sure what it is. I’ve spent the last three nights tossing and turning and having nightmares. Tonight I’m so put out with bed sleep that I am kicking back in a chair in our hotel room, wrapped up in a blanket about to watch some netflix.
I wonder what sleep is. And I wonder why I dread it. I always have a slight trepidation in the back of my mind about getting in the room at night and trying to occupy myself until my body finally gives in and shuts down. But lately, my mind hasn’t been shutting down with it. I just want a break. I just want some real rest.
We’re in eastern Texas. Currently staying in Franklin. It’s good to be in this part of the country, but it’s equally as boring as any other part of the country. If you want food after nine on a Friday night in this town, I hope you enjoy your sub sandwich from Subway.
Anyway, I promise that next time I blog I’ll actually have something worth blogging about. There are some great new things in the works but none of it is public knowledge yet.
I just needed to talk tonight because I have no one to talk to and feel rather alone. As I sit here in a quiet room, in a quiet hallway of a quiet hotel in a quiet town in a quiet county, I simply wonder if there’s life out there anywhere. If anyone anywhere is doing anything worth doing. If maybe there is somewhere else to be right now where people aren’t afraid and no one feels alone.
Who knows.
May God bless you all… I appreciate my friends so much. What would I do without you??
DC
Why do I write?
I write music for the confused. For the ones who struggle to fit in with this twisted society. I write music for the people who know they’re not perfect, and for the people who wrestle with life as they lay in bed at night wishing they could sleep. I write music for the seekers of God, for the sufferers, and for the guy who can never get the girl he loves to look his way. I write music for the tired, the frightened, the brave, the failures, the rejected, and the sarcastic citizens of the world.
How is it that my music is geared toward these types of people? It’s simple… it’s because this describes me. I write songs to express myself, and to talk about things that I can’t actually talk about. Every song I write has a window to some aspect of my mind or heart within it, and is an expression of the things I believe and feel.
In 2010, I recorded an independent album called “Wisdom for Fools”, with the intent of releasing it. However, I didn’t release it, because without warning, a five-month diversion of my course interrupted my life as I made an eventually regretted move to Florida to take a job that I was not suited for.
I now have good news, though! As a gesture toward getting everyone excited about new music projects I am working on, I have released “Wisdom For Fools” for download on my website at www.danielchilds.com!
This is a Pop album, and I believe it to be a very good one. The songs are written thoughtfully, and cover a vast variety of subject matter from my heart.
Though I classify this music as “Pop”, this album does, however, fit within the genre of Christian music as well because many of the songs have Christian lyrics and meanings.
Most of “Wisdom For Fools” was recorded at my house in Franklin, and some of it was recorded at the church I worked at in Florida. The guitars on the album were played by myself as well as Cameron Childs. I played bass and keyboards, as well as did all the vocals.
So, I write this blog entry to pursued you to go to danielchilds.com today and download “Wisdom For Fools” in the online store! I believe this album will bless you, that the songs will encourage you, and that it’s fun to listen to.
Also in the online store, you can buy “Wisdom for Fools” t-shirts and hoodies.
Above: music video for “Until You Do”, a song from the “Wisdom For Fools” album.
As for future music projects:
I’m already working on two other albums, which is why I strategically released “Wisdom for Fools” at this time in order to get everyone excited about the new music I’m working on, which is sounding even better!
One of the new projects I’m working on is a Christian project called “Carry Me”, and I’m almost finished recording it. It is sounding better than anything I’ve ever worked on before, and I’m excited about releasing it and selling it at concerts.
I am also in early writing stages for a brand new completely Pop album. I consider myself more of an Alternative / Pop artist at heart, because when writing Christian music, you have to write within certain perimeters. With me, there’s simply more to the story. I have more words about life to share. And when writing Pop music, I am free to write about whatever I want, including Christian meanings. And am free to sound however I want.
So, be on the lookout for these future projects!
I want you all to know that I appreciate you, your friendship, and your support of my music. I encourage you to download “Wisdom For Fools” today and enjoy it!
May God bless you and keep you in His divine care!
- Daniel Childs
“My ship crashed, and I found through my defeat
There is wisdom for fools like me.”
MY RELATIONSHIP APPROACH THEORY
Here I go, talking about relationships again. But please note that everything I say in reference to relationships is well thought-out over mass amounts of time and tested to hold weight as truth.
Observe the above clip of “Date Mike”, portrayed by Office character Michael Scott, portrayed by actor Steve Carell. Girls, would you want to go out with a baffoon like this? Answer: of course not.
If you’re not an Office fan, this blog entry will not be something you 100% understand, but you’ll still get what I’m trying to say.
On NBC’s show The Office, there are a range of characters. However, I want to only talk about two of them and I want to talk specifically about their approach to relationships with females, and which one I have discovered works. This synopsis is based on my own personal observations and experiences. Even if you don’t watch the show, this will make sense.
Michael Scott
While being an absolutely hilarious character (mainly due to his oblivious lack of understanding of the world), Michael has trouble with women. Over the course of his seven seasons on the show, he dates a few different women, and even finds himself in a few committed relationships. However, he never achieves his desire (which is building a life with a female and eventually having kids) until season 7 when he finally is reunited with Holly, a woman he’s loved for a long time… and unlike almost every other woman in the world, Holly loves Michael too.
Like myself, Michael is a creative type personality. He is absolutely not happy unless he is working on something artistic, whether it be a movie, a book, or a comedy routine. Michael is overflowing with creative energy, so much so that it effects his work, and effects his relationships, because his over-the-top personality scares people off… probably because they are either annoyed by him or don’t understand him. I personally can relate to all these things, as can many other creative type people.
This should help you understand his approach to women. When courting a female, Michael is constantly cracking jokes that are not funny, and doing spontaneous, crazy things in hopes to impress the woman he is out with. Deep inside, he’s desperate, and often lets it show through his words and actions. He lets his over-the-top personality come out on dates, and therefore he usually ends up saying the wrong thing at the wrong time, all the time.
The Michael Scott approach does not work.
Here’s why:
No woman is attracted to a man who makes a fool out of himself. It’s simply not attractive. In addition to this, if you let your mouth run and say everything that comes to your mind, you risk offending the female you’re with or exposing your idiotic nature.
Also, females are completely turned off by desperation. A man who exudes the fact that he is desperate for a relationship is not appealing to them… most likely because they don’t think he has any strength to offer, or they think that he would be extremely clingy.
I have learned the hard way that having an over-the-top personality, like you see in the “Date Mike” video, just doesn’t work. If you’re hyperactive like me and like Michael Scott, you need to tone it down a bit. Don’t follow the impulse that compels you to be “different” or “unique”, because females can detect your lack of authenticity right away.
Jim Halpert
Character Jim Halpert is extremely laid back, and at times, even to a fault. He is mostly lazy with his work (observe the solitaire game on his computer screen), and is constantly in a state of relaxation, which nearly keeps him from putting forth any ambition. While I cannot relate to this personality type, I really admire it… I wish I could be that relaxed all the time… but I’m simply not wired that way.
On a personal level, Jim is a bit closed off. He is very slow to reveal his emotions (as is made obvious when he waits until the end of season two to confess his feelings to Pam, whom he has loved for a number of years). He is also slow to reveal what’s on his mind, and keeps most of his conversation focused on matters at hand.
Jim, mentally, is super sharp, though. He can see right through Michael Scott and people like him, but deep inside is a kind person and would never intentionally hurt anyone’s feelings. Jim has limitless potential with his career because of his smarts, but for some reason, he chooses to take a relaxed approach to his career.
Jim’s approach to women is equivalent with his personality: relaxed. He has a great amount of confidence, and is unafraid to approach a female and speak with her. However, because of his relaxed nature, females often assume that he is nothing more than a friend.
Unlike his approach toward his job, Jim is actually very passionate when it comes to the one he loves (in this case, Pam Beasley). You have to really study him to know that he is actually somewhat sentimental, and sometimes lets his emotions get the better of him, though he is extremely cautious to reveal his emotions.
The Jim Halpert approach works.
Why?
Women respond to sincerity. Women respond to authenticity. Women respond to sentiment. These are all good things to exude in a relationship.
Though Jim’s approach to women is not flawless, it’s pretty dang good. Girls like a guy who’s funny, and he’s a funny guy… but even more so, girls like a guy who has no pretense… a guy who can just be himself. And Jim Halpert never ceases to relax and be himself.
He doesn’t come on strong like Michael Scott or Tony Stark. You have to be rich, famous, or extremely good looking to make coming on strong work. But Jim doesn’t subscribe to it. He’s relaxed, authentic, and passionate. And it works.
Are my observations correct?
Yes, because I’ve seen them at play in my own life and in the lives of others. I have been on both ends of the spectrum: the Michael Scott end and the Jim Halpert end. And I have found that when I finally let go and stop focusing on myself, that’s when I find success.
When you are desperate and make it obvious by the way you act, you’re gonna run out of luck real fast. You need to take a step back and ask yourself what qualities you would like in the opposite sex, and then try to work on having those qualities yourself. Never overdo your personality approach. Though you probably have a great personality, it you bring it to a girl’s attention too soon, you’ll scare her off. Make your approach relaxed.
My purpose in this blog entry was to help struggling guys out by explaining this theory in a relatable way.
Something I haven’t said for a long time, but finally feel like talking about.
I heard this line in a song called “Free Falling” yesterday…
“All the vampires walkin’ through the valley
Move west down Ventura Blvd
And all the bad boys are standing in the shadows
All the good girls are home with broken hearts”
I respect what the writer is trying to say, to an extent. However, this is the question I pose to Mr. Petty… what about all the good guys that are home with broken hearts??
I don’t like these lyrics because they cast an image of most guys being like raging vampires… using girls and then hurting them. Are there guys like that out there? - yes, absolutely. But not all of us are like that. And another important thing is to realize that sometimes the girls are the ones breaking the hearts; every human has done something that has been emotionally hurtful to another human at some point in time.
I am not bashing or slamming females in any way. I respect females. I’m just saying that I think society paints this picture of most guys being heartbreakers, leaving girls hurt and distrusting. And while I know that does happen, the problem I have is that society makes absolutely no mention of the rest of us guys - the ones that are not out to hurt girls… we are the ones who seek to treat them with respect and take care of them. Society does not acknowledge our existence on this planet, whatsoever.
I wonder if maybe most girls are only attracted to the bad guys, which is why they end up with broken hearts. Maybe there’s some sort of quality the bad guys have that us good guys can’t measure up to, leaving us alone and heartbroken by the girls who want the bad guys. And of course, society refuses to acknowledge all the decent guys who stay home on a Friday night sad because some girl ditched them.
I repeat that I am not in any way bashing the female population. All I know is that I am a 24-year-old, attractive guy with a good job, and I have been seriously hurt by more than one female in the past year and a half (in spite of how well I treated them), and am constantly getting turned down and rejected by females… for some reason unknown to me. And I have a few close friends who also fit this same description, and they are extremely decent guys.
So the bad guys are out hurting the girls, and the good girls are staying home in their sadness. Meanwhile, those same girls hurt the good guys, and no one on earth has any idea why. Tom Petty, write a song about that.